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Loosing hope

I am crying, trying to stop it. My eyes are shining but my smile is dull. I am trying too hard for not letting anything go. And I guess it's time to stop. I need my heart to stop beating for a while. It's just that I am tired of fighting with all of it. I want it to stop. I need to lie down nd loose hope. I need to stop being the person I am. I want to stop this show. This is all a show. I am fed up with this. I need no one but deep inside I know that I desperately need someone by my side to convince me that I am wrong. A person for whom I can finally stop winning. I need that person to love me for a while now cause it's been ages since I have felt that happy emotion. Love doesn't make sense to most of the people but love is something that doesn't need to make sense to make sense. It's not a thing a person can ever understand. But without love, everything will fall, humanity will fall. And I am falling. I need the person to stop me from drowning. I have put all my efforts and I am done with everything. I am not even trying right now. I have given up to find my love. It's not that I wanted to but I needed to. I can never try again. I am a lover kind. I love. But people don't get what they want until they stop their desire to get it. And I think I am loosing the desire to get that person. I am starting to loose hope finally. If it's the way it should be then I should finally be at peace but I am still holding onto it. It's going to slip away but for now, I am still breathing. If you are out there then notice me cause I am stopping to try to find you. I am struggling to hold myself together.

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